Lesson fourteen: Confrontation is hard.
You know, I always considered myself a pacifist. I was always a people pleaser and I did just about anything to avoid conflict. Part of me did that because I was just shy and another part of me did that because I thought it was Biblical. "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God" (Matt. 5:9). While that Bible verse stands true, it's definitely not saying people should never confront one another like I thought it did. I was a pacifist.... and then I became a manager.
Now? I can confront someone with no problem. I'm not afraid to speak my mind and I don't care if that makes me the "Bad Guy". I remember the first time I wrote someone up, I was so nervous that I doubted I could be a manager. But as time has passed, I've learned that it's okay to confront people as long as you do it with love and kindness. While I've managed to pretty much master the confrontation part, I have yet to learn to do it completely in love and kindness. I hate to admit it, but I'm kind of mean when I confront people, especially my employees. It's so hard to be kind to people who take advantage of kindness, you know? They assume because you're being kind that you don't really mean what you're saying to them, or at least that's been my experience. I think I eventually got done with being nice, and just stopped caring what people thought about me (that's another reason I was a pacifist). I'm don't care that people are talking crap about me, I only confront people when I know something isn't right and it needs to be corrected. If people are going to talk about me because I'm doing my job, then go right ahead.
It's not my job to please people, so don't get mad at me for doing what is my job. "Am I trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ" (Galatians 1:10). I'll admit, part of my heart breaks when I hear people don't like me or talk badly about me. I don't think of myself as a hard person to get along with, but I also feel guilty because I feel I must have done something that doesn't please God or show His love to others. I just need to keep reminding myself when I confront people to do it out of kindness and gentleness.
This reminds me of the episode when Serena confronts Molly about a guy she likes. While it's different from some of the things I've mentioned, the application is still the same. It was extremely difficult for Serena to tell Molly how she felt about the situation, but she ultimately did it out of love. I can think of a million examples where the Scouts face this issue, but it always comes down to them doing it out of love and kindness. I love how kind and gentle the Scout's hearts are, it's one of the reasons I look up to them.
Lord, my prayer is that you clean my heart and fill it with your spirit. When I'm correcting someone (whether it be at work or friends), let it be with the same gentle heart as your Son. I know I don't always set a good example of you, and I pray that you'll make me more like you. I love you Daddy.
~Alyssa
P.S: I apologize, this post is slightly a work rant post, can you tell???
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
The Unknown
Lesson 13: The Unknown is scary, but it is also an adventure.
You know what I've noticed? People always say they want change, but it's also one of their biggest fears. "I want to move out, but I'm scared of being on my own or the finances" or "I want to pursue this career and quit my job, but it's too risky," or "I want to be with someone, but I don't want to mess it up what we have," or "I want to tell my friend about Jesus, but I'm worried it will ruin our friendship." Leaving what is familiar is an extremely rough thing to do. I believe we as humans love what is familiar and comfortable, but deep down we also hate it. We long for a wild adventure, but we're too scared to go out and do it. We worry that if we do what it unknown, we'll lose what is familiar forever. Chances are, you will. That was one reason it took me so long to let go of my boyfriend was because we had been together for so long, just his voice and presencewas is comforting. I often think of how it is would be just to go back, but I know I can't.
God has called me into this adventure into the unknown. I don't know what he's doing, but he's guiding me in the dark. All we have is a small lamp (Psalm 119:105), only showing me enough light to get by. God knows where He's going, the lamp is merely a symbol of hope for me. I wish I could see further ahead, but God keeps whispering, "It's a surprise."
A was asked the other day by a deaf friend of mine what I want to do after I graduate. In all honesty? I couldn't answer him (and it wasn't because I didn't know how to sign it!). I thought, "I don't know? Get a job? Get married? Have kids?" Seems like a basic answer. Too be honest, I know even know if I want the latter two after I graduate. Don't get me wrong, I want those things. God has imprinted those things on my heart so deeply, but I just don't know anymore. I can't plan for something like that to happen right after I graduate (I tried that, and look where that ended!). Whatever God wants will happen. I'm scared of what this year will bring and is bringing. Here I am, single and getting ready to move out in a month. WHAT?! If I told myself that a year ago I would would have laughed and said, "You're crazy!" And perhaps there is some truth to that.
As I was writing this, I thought of how the Sailor Scouts handle the Unknown. In the English dub, a phrase they constantly repeat when in battle against someone new is, "Guys, I don't like this." Only seems natural that they hate going against something they aren't familiar with. Isn't the same true for us? When we come across something new or go through a major change our first thought is, "I don't like this." For example, going to Hume was one of the hardest changes I had to go through. All I kept thinking was, "I don't like this, I want to go home where it's safe and comfortable." But once I tackled it, I came to find that I liked the change. I think in order to experience growth we need change and to have faith as we wonder into the Unknown (Random, but I keep thinking of the Pokemon "Unknown" now since I keep upper casing that word. I'm so weird). Although the Unknown scares me, I know my Abba is leading me and he won't let me fall.
With all I am,
~Alyssa (SSD)
You know what I've noticed? People always say they want change, but it's also one of their biggest fears. "I want to move out, but I'm scared of being on my own or the finances" or "I want to pursue this career and quit my job, but it's too risky," or "I want to be with someone, but I don't want to mess it up what we have," or "I want to tell my friend about Jesus, but I'm worried it will ruin our friendship." Leaving what is familiar is an extremely rough thing to do. I believe we as humans love what is familiar and comfortable, but deep down we also hate it. We long for a wild adventure, but we're too scared to go out and do it. We worry that if we do what it unknown, we'll lose what is familiar forever. Chances are, you will. That was one reason it took me so long to let go of my boyfriend was because we had been together for so long, just his voice and presence
God has called me into this adventure into the unknown. I don't know what he's doing, but he's guiding me in the dark. All we have is a small lamp (Psalm 119:105), only showing me enough light to get by. God knows where He's going, the lamp is merely a symbol of hope for me. I wish I could see further ahead, but God keeps whispering, "It's a surprise."
A was asked the other day by a deaf friend of mine what I want to do after I graduate. In all honesty? I couldn't answer him (and it wasn't because I didn't know how to sign it!). I thought, "I don't know? Get a job? Get married? Have kids?" Seems like a basic answer. Too be honest, I know even know if I want the latter two after I graduate. Don't get me wrong, I want those things. God has imprinted those things on my heart so deeply, but I just don't know anymore. I can't plan for something like that to happen right after I graduate (I tried that, and look where that ended!). Whatever God wants will happen. I'm scared of what this year will bring and is bringing. Here I am, single and getting ready to move out in a month. WHAT?! If I told myself that a year ago I would would have laughed and said, "You're crazy!" And perhaps there is some truth to that.
As I was writing this, I thought of how the Sailor Scouts handle the Unknown. In the English dub, a phrase they constantly repeat when in battle against someone new is, "Guys, I don't like this." Only seems natural that they hate going against something they aren't familiar with. Isn't the same true for us? When we come across something new or go through a major change our first thought is, "I don't like this." For example, going to Hume was one of the hardest changes I had to go through. All I kept thinking was, "I don't like this, I want to go home where it's safe and comfortable." But once I tackled it, I came to find that I liked the change. I think in order to experience growth we need change and to have faith as we wonder into the Unknown (Random, but I keep thinking of the Pokemon "Unknown" now since I keep upper casing that word. I'm so weird). Although the Unknown scares me, I know my Abba is leading me and he won't let me fall.
With all I am,
~Alyssa (SSD)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)