Lesson number 8: I've slowly learned what love languages speak to me the most.
Not sure why I'm writing this one. It's a lesson that has helped me so much in understanding why I feel the way I feel sometimes and why I respond to certain things more than others. I'm going to list each love language and then say how it correlates to myself.
Gifts- One thing is for sure. Gifts is not my love language. It's not that I don't like gifts, I just don't feel as much intimacy with people as I do with other love languages. My favorite gifts are thoughtful, and take time (which is my love language). My top five favorite gifts of all time are (in no particular order): a picture frame that I made with my old boyfriend, a personal scrapbook (that has a poem she wrote in it!), letters my friend wrote me when I left for Hume Lake, pictures my friend drew for me, and my purity ring (which I waited to get for about 4 years). I love personal gifts, I can't say that enough. That's why I don't like giving gifts unless they're thoughtful.
Acts of Service- This is the one love language that I honestly wish was higher, but it's not. I absolutely appreciate it when people do things for me, I just don't feel as loved when I receive acts of service compared to the other languages. My ex boyfriend was the master at this language, but I never felt intimacy/love when he would bring me food to work or wash my dish. I just thought, "that was nice." I never thought, "WOW. I can't believe he did that for me! He's so sweet and loving." I wish I was better at this language because it drives my mom crazy that I'm not more thoughtful when it comes to doing chores or doing things for her.
Touch- This is a language that was honestly completely dead for the longest time and was only brought out by my ex boyfriend and other friends. I LOVE touch. I honestly debate with myself weather or not this or words of affirmation is higher. Words of affirmation only beats touch my a little bit. I feel so much love and intimacy with friends when we hug, have are arms around each other, hold hands (especially when I pray), etc. I just feel so close to people who I can touch and hold. When someone touches my leg/arm and asks how I'm doing, I feel like they legitimately want to know and it's not just a passing conversation.
Words of Affirmation- The only reason words of affirmation is my secondary love language compared to time is because people's words affect me SO much. One sarcastic comment and my mood drops. One compliment and my mood is immediately uplifted. I wish that I would get hit on more often by guys, I think it would really boost my self confidence haha just kidding (kind of). I can't get enough of compliments and when people say, "I love you" (not 'love you' or 'love ya' or 'ily', the whole phrase).
Time- Time is my love language, without a doubt. If I haven't spent time with someone or haven't talked to them in a long time I feel so disconnected. This is why I love thoughtful gifts, letters, and why I show up early to everything. We don't even have to be talking, just their presence is enough to make me feel close to them. When people want to spend time with me, I feel loved. More loved than I think they know.
This is me and I've learned a lot from knowing my love languages.
~Alyssa (SailorD)
P.S: No Sailor Moon illustration this time :P
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Leadership
Lesson Number Seven: I need a leader.
This is something that I've known since the end of sophomore year, but only recently have I really understood why. After I ended my 2-3 year relationship, I began a deep search from within. "Why weren't we working?" I asked myself. He's the kindest and most loving man I've ever met. When I look at him, I see Jesus in his heart and soul. We almost never fought, and we always talked things out. AND he's my type! What more could I ask for? Then the word pops into my head: a leader.
From the beginning of our relationship, I knew he didn't posses a lot of leadership skills and it always bothered me cause that was on the top of my list. But we had such a great partnership that I brushed it to the side. Don't get me wrong, I want a partnership too. However, I'm very old fashion too and I do believe the man needs to be the leader in a relationship. That's why my parent's marriage fell apart, and I won't have that happen to me. I'm not saying our relationship fell apart because he didn't posses enough leadership skills, it's also because of me. Something I've discovered about myself (through God's revelation and my group comm class) is that I'm a very good follower unless there is no one to follow. If there is no leader, I immediately step in and take that role. I literally had an "Ah!" moment when I realized this. It makes so much sense to me. When the Invisible Children club lost it's leader and needed healing, I stepped in. When there was no volunteers to lead in my group comm class, I became the unnamed leader. When he wouldn't say stop, I would.
The times I was most attracted to my ex boyfriend (oh how I hate saying that sometimes) was right after he would give his sermons. He exerted so much leadership and wisdom, I loved it (and oh how I would go crazy)! I guess that's why I'm so attracted to guys with leadership qualities (especially spiritual). I need someone who doesn't let me take control of the relationship. What I want more than anything is my prince/knight to help guide me through an adventurous life. This is exactly what Jesus wants to do as my lover, and I love that He is the leader of my life. If he wasn't, my life would crumble.
Sailor Moon illustration time! Ah, Mamoru and Usagi are the perfect example of this whole lesson. Although Usagi is the leader of the Sailor Senshi, she is ultimately a Queen with Mamoru as the King. They have such a beautiful partnership when ruling the kingdom, but when it comes to fighting against evil, Mamoru tends to take the lead. Usagi still fights, of course, but Mamoru is the one in command. I love and admire their relationship so much because it's what I want. I want to fight for God, side by side with my husband, but with his guidance.
God, I don't know what you have in mind for me, but I trust you in this. You've made it so clear to me that you want to be that lover to guide me, and I still chase after other things to guide me. Don't let go of my hand, I need you always.
With lots of love,
~Alyssa (SailorD)
This is something that I've known since the end of sophomore year, but only recently have I really understood why. After I ended my 2-3 year relationship, I began a deep search from within. "Why weren't we working?" I asked myself. He's the kindest and most loving man I've ever met. When I look at him, I see Jesus in his heart and soul. We almost never fought, and we always talked things out. AND he's my type! What more could I ask for? Then the word pops into my head: a leader.
From the beginning of our relationship, I knew he didn't posses a lot of leadership skills and it always bothered me cause that was on the top of my list. But we had such a great partnership that I brushed it to the side. Don't get me wrong, I want a partnership too. However, I'm very old fashion too and I do believe the man needs to be the leader in a relationship. That's why my parent's marriage fell apart, and I won't have that happen to me. I'm not saying our relationship fell apart because he didn't posses enough leadership skills, it's also because of me. Something I've discovered about myself (through God's revelation and my group comm class) is that I'm a very good follower unless there is no one to follow. If there is no leader, I immediately step in and take that role. I literally had an "Ah!" moment when I realized this. It makes so much sense to me. When the Invisible Children club lost it's leader and needed healing, I stepped in. When there was no volunteers to lead in my group comm class, I became the unnamed leader. When he wouldn't say stop, I would.
The times I was most attracted to my ex boyfriend (oh how I hate saying that sometimes) was right after he would give his sermons. He exerted so much leadership and wisdom, I loved it (and oh how I would go crazy)! I guess that's why I'm so attracted to guys with leadership qualities (especially spiritual). I need someone who doesn't let me take control of the relationship. What I want more than anything is my prince/knight to help guide me through an adventurous life. This is exactly what Jesus wants to do as my lover, and I love that He is the leader of my life. If he wasn't, my life would crumble.
Sailor Moon illustration time! Ah, Mamoru and Usagi are the perfect example of this whole lesson. Although Usagi is the leader of the Sailor Senshi, she is ultimately a Queen with Mamoru as the King. They have such a beautiful partnership when ruling the kingdom, but when it comes to fighting against evil, Mamoru tends to take the lead. Usagi still fights, of course, but Mamoru is the one in command. I love and admire their relationship so much because it's what I want. I want to fight for God, side by side with my husband, but with his guidance.
God, I don't know what you have in mind for me, but I trust you in this. You've made it so clear to me that you want to be that lover to guide me, and I still chase after other things to guide me. Don't let go of my hand, I need you always.
With lots of love,
~Alyssa (SailorD)
Thursday, December 13, 2012
Earthly Things Don't Last Forever
Lesson Numbero Six: I can't speak Spanish Haha, just kidding. Sort of. Earthly things fade away, nothing on earth lasts forever.
This is a lesson that I've very much struggled with in my walk with Christ. The concept itself is easy enough to understand, and in my heart I know it to be true. Logically, I know this lesson very well. In my actions, however, it's very difficult for me to grasp. I wouldn't say I have a problem with material possessions (although working in retail certainly hasn't helped my shopping habits). I have a problem with letting go of things that have the possibility of lasting a very long time: romantic love, friendships, items with sentimental value, a family member, and even my way of living. Whenever something like these are threatened, I don't take it very well. I have an extremely difficult time of letting go of stuff like this and I know exactly why. I afraid that once I give it to God, I won't get it back. This could quickly get into a trust issue post, so I won't get into that point too much.
Anywho, back to my original point. I'm reminded of so many scriptures, but I guess the verse (or book rather) is the book of Ecclesiastes. As depressing as this book can be, it sums up this earthly life into one word: meaningless. "'Meaningless! Meaningless!' Says the teacher. 'Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.'" In my opinion, their is nothing more depressing than learning that everything you have and will accomplished in this life is pointless. But on the flip side, it's also the most encouraging. It says (in summary): Yes, this life is meaningless, but it's only a stepping stone to eternity.
Wow! We have so much to look forward to in heaven. Being with God for eternity, what could possibly be better? It's amazing how fast I forget that things like the friends I make or sentimental items I hold are completely temporary. I don't know where I get it into my head that these things will somehow last forever, but I know it's not God.
Even Sailor Moon knows this lesson better than me! She knows that her life in Japan is temporary because her life in Crystal Tokyo is what is forever (Anyone who is reading this is probably like What the...?). In all seriousness, Usagi openly admits in Arc 3 and 4 that the life they're living now is meaningless. She says, "I'm a queen/princess in another world, what does this even matter?" Okay, that was slightly out of context since she's talking about her exams, but you get the point. She sums it up so well: I may just be ordinary here, but it doesn't matter! I'm a princess in another world.
I'll end with one of my favorite songs, Open Up the Skies. We sung it repeated at Wildwood and I think it sums everything up very nicely:
Our beloved Father
Please come down and meet us
We are waiting on Your touch
Open up the heavens
Shower down Your presence
We respond to Your great love
We won’t be satisfied with anything ordinary
We won’t be satisfied at all
Open up the sky
Fall down like rain
We don’t want blessings
We want you
Open up the sky
Fall down like fire
We don’t want anything but you
Our beloved Jesus
We just want to see
You In the glory of Your light
Earthly things don’t matter
They just fade and shatter
When were touched by love divine
Here we go lets go to the throne
The place that we belong
Right into His arms
Loving you Abba,
~Alyssa (SailorD)
This is a lesson that I've very much struggled with in my walk with Christ. The concept itself is easy enough to understand, and in my heart I know it to be true. Logically, I know this lesson very well. In my actions, however, it's very difficult for me to grasp. I wouldn't say I have a problem with material possessions (although working in retail certainly hasn't helped my shopping habits). I have a problem with letting go of things that have the possibility of lasting a very long time: romantic love, friendships, items with sentimental value, a family member, and even my way of living. Whenever something like these are threatened, I don't take it very well. I have an extremely difficult time of letting go of stuff like this and I know exactly why. I afraid that once I give it to God, I won't get it back. This could quickly get into a trust issue post, so I won't get into that point too much.
Anywho, back to my original point. I'm reminded of so many scriptures, but I guess the verse (or book rather) is the book of Ecclesiastes. As depressing as this book can be, it sums up this earthly life into one word: meaningless. "'Meaningless! Meaningless!' Says the teacher. 'Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.'" In my opinion, their is nothing more depressing than learning that everything you have and will accomplished in this life is pointless. But on the flip side, it's also the most encouraging. It says (in summary): Yes, this life is meaningless, but it's only a stepping stone to eternity.
Wow! We have so much to look forward to in heaven. Being with God for eternity, what could possibly be better? It's amazing how fast I forget that things like the friends I make or sentimental items I hold are completely temporary. I don't know where I get it into my head that these things will somehow last forever, but I know it's not God.
Even Sailor Moon knows this lesson better than me! She knows that her life in Japan is temporary because her life in Crystal Tokyo is what is forever (Anyone who is reading this is probably like What the...?). In all seriousness, Usagi openly admits in Arc 3 and 4 that the life they're living now is meaningless. She says, "I'm a queen/princess in another world, what does this even matter?" Okay, that was slightly out of context since she's talking about her exams, but you get the point. She sums it up so well: I may just be ordinary here, but it doesn't matter! I'm a princess in another world.
I'll end with one of my favorite songs, Open Up the Skies. We sung it repeated at Wildwood and I think it sums everything up very nicely:
Our beloved Father
Please come down and meet us
We are waiting on Your touch
Open up the heavens
Shower down Your presence
We respond to Your great love
We won’t be satisfied with anything ordinary
We won’t be satisfied at all
Open up the sky
Fall down like rain
We don’t want blessings
We want you
Open up the sky
Fall down like fire
We don’t want anything but you
Our beloved Jesus
We just want to see
You In the glory of Your light
Earthly things don’t matter
They just fade and shatter
When were touched by love divine
Here we go lets go to the throne
The place that we belong
Right into His arms
Loving you Abba,
~Alyssa (SailorD)
Friday, December 7, 2012
Contentment vs. Joy
Lesson Cinq: Be joyful rather than content.
This is a lesson God has only recently taught me (like the past two/three days) and I felt the need to write on it. Recently, I was told by a friend to pray for contentment in my life. This is advice I have given to other people as well, so I agreed to pray for contentment. However, after a few days of praying for contentment, I was curious to see what the Bible said about being content/contentment. Only three verses popped up when I looked up 'contentment'. Not only was I surprised by this, but when you look at the context of the verses, it talks about being content with things like earthly possessions (Ex: 1 Timothy 6:6). The Bible doesn't talks about finding contentment in Life, just in earthly possessions. Granted, that is a big part of life and you should be content with what you have, but overall, I've come to the realization that we shouldn't be content with life. We should be Joyful with our life.
I believe that being content with the life God gave us makes us less passionate beings. "Oh yeah, I'm content with what God has given me, it's a good life," is what I picture a content person saying. How boring! It's almost a slap in the face to God! We should be much more passionate and joyful about the life God has given us. "Look what God has done with my life! My life isn't complete without him, I've never been more joyful!" is what the joyous, passionate person says.
So no matter the situation, I need to be praying for joy, not contentment. I do believe I have found that again through the grace of God, even if it doesn't look like it sometimes. I may not be happy all the time, but I know that I am joyful because God has saved me! He continues to be with me, it doesn't get any better than that. I've found my joy in this situation and life, and I'm overwhelmed with thanks to God.
Unfortunately, I don't have a cheesy Sailor Moon illustration today. All I can say is that Sailor Moon is one of the most joyful people I know, and the one time she tried being content, it brought her to tears. Joy is what completes us.
"I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." ~John 15:11
"Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." ~John 16:24
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." ~Romans 15:13
Thanks Daddy, I love you!
~Alyssa (SailorD)
This is a lesson God has only recently taught me (like the past two/three days) and I felt the need to write on it. Recently, I was told by a friend to pray for contentment in my life. This is advice I have given to other people as well, so I agreed to pray for contentment. However, after a few days of praying for contentment, I was curious to see what the Bible said about being content/contentment. Only three verses popped up when I looked up 'contentment'. Not only was I surprised by this, but when you look at the context of the verses, it talks about being content with things like earthly possessions (Ex: 1 Timothy 6:6). The Bible doesn't talks about finding contentment in Life, just in earthly possessions. Granted, that is a big part of life and you should be content with what you have, but overall, I've come to the realization that we shouldn't be content with life. We should be Joyful with our life.
I believe that being content with the life God gave us makes us less passionate beings. "Oh yeah, I'm content with what God has given me, it's a good life," is what I picture a content person saying. How boring! It's almost a slap in the face to God! We should be much more passionate and joyful about the life God has given us. "Look what God has done with my life! My life isn't complete without him, I've never been more joyful!" is what the joyous, passionate person says.
So no matter the situation, I need to be praying for joy, not contentment. I do believe I have found that again through the grace of God, even if it doesn't look like it sometimes. I may not be happy all the time, but I know that I am joyful because God has saved me! He continues to be with me, it doesn't get any better than that. I've found my joy in this situation and life, and I'm overwhelmed with thanks to God.
Unfortunately, I don't have a cheesy Sailor Moon illustration today. All I can say is that Sailor Moon is one of the most joyful people I know, and the one time she tried being content, it brought her to tears. Joy is what completes us.
"I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." ~John 15:11
"Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." ~John 16:24
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." ~Romans 15:13
Thanks Daddy, I love you!
~Alyssa (SailorD)
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