Confrontation

Lesson fourteen: Confrontation is hard.

You know, I always considered myself a pacifist.  I was always a people pleaser and I did just about anything to avoid conflict.  Part of me did that because I was just shy and another part of me did that because I thought it was Biblical.  "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God" (Matt. 5:9).   While that Bible verse stands true, it's definitely not saying people should never confront one another like I thought it did.  I was a pacifist.... and then I became a manager.

Now? I can confront someone with no problem.  I'm not afraid to speak my mind and I don't care if that makes me the "Bad Guy".  I remember the first time I wrote someone up, I was so nervous that I doubted I could be a manager.  But as time has passed, I've learned that it's okay to confront people as long as you do it with love and kindness.  While I've managed to pretty much master the confrontation part, I have yet to learn to do it completely in love and kindness.  I hate to admit it, but I'm kind of mean when I confront people, especially my employees.  It's so hard to be kind to people who take advantage of kindness, you know?  They assume because you're being kind that you don't really mean what you're saying to them, or at least that's been my experience.  I think I eventually got done with being nice, and just stopped caring what people thought about me (that's another reason I was a pacifist).  I'm don't care that people are talking crap about me, I only confront people when I know something isn't right and it needs to be corrected.  If people are going to talk about me because I'm doing my job, then go right ahead.

It's not my job to please people, so don't get mad at me for doing what is my job.  "Am I trying to win the approval of men, or of God?  Or am I trying to please men?  If I were trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ" (Galatians 1:10).  I'll admit, part of my heart breaks when I hear people don't like me or talk badly about me.  I don't think of myself as a hard person to get along with, but I also feel guilty because I feel I must have done something that doesn't please God or show His love to others.  I just need to keep reminding myself when I confront people to do it out of kindness and gentleness.

This reminds me of the episode when Serena confronts Molly about a guy she likes.  While it's different from some of the things I've mentioned, the application is still the same.  It was extremely difficult for Serena to tell Molly how she felt about the situation, but she ultimately did it out of love.  I can think of a million examples where the Scouts face this issue, but it always comes down to them doing it out of love and kindness.  I love how kind and gentle the Scout's hearts are, it's one of the reasons I look up to them.

Lord, my prayer is that you clean my heart and fill it with your spirit.  When I'm correcting someone (whether it be at work or friends), let it be with the same gentle heart as your Son.  I know I don't always set a good example of you, and I pray that you'll make me more like you.  I love you Daddy.

~Alyssa

P.S: I apologize, this post is slightly a work rant post, can you tell???