The Unknown

Lesson 13: The Unknown is scary, but it is also an adventure.

You know what I've noticed?  People always say they want change, but it's also one of their biggest fears.  "I want to move out, but I'm scared of being on my own or the finances" or "I want to pursue this career and quit my job, but it's too risky," or "I want to be with someone, but I don't want to mess it up what we have," or "I want to tell my friend about Jesus, but I'm worried it will ruin our friendship." Leaving what is familiar is an extremely rough thing to do.  I believe we as humans love what is familiar and comfortable, but deep down we also hate it.  We long for a wild adventure, but we're too scared to go out and do it.  We worry that if we do what it unknown, we'll lose what is familiar forever.  Chances are, you will.  That was one reason it took me so long to let go of my boyfriend was because we had been together for so long, just his voice and presence was is comforting.  I often think of how it is would be just to go back, but I know I can't.

God has called me into this adventure into the unknown.  I don't know what he's doing, but he's guiding me in the dark.  All we have is a small lamp (Psalm 119:105), only showing me enough light to get by.  God knows where He's going, the lamp is merely a symbol of hope for me.  I wish I could see further ahead, but God keeps whispering, "It's a surprise."

A was asked the other day by a deaf friend of mine what I want to do after I graduate.  In all honesty?  I couldn't answer him (and it wasn't because I didn't know how to sign it!).  I thought, "I don't know?  Get a job?  Get married?  Have kids?"  Seems like a basic answer.  Too be honest, I know even know if I want the latter two after I graduate.  Don't get me wrong, I want those things.  God has imprinted those things on my heart so deeply, but I just don't know anymore.  I can't plan for something like that to happen right after I graduate (I tried that, and look where that ended!).  Whatever God wants will happen.  I'm scared of what this year will bring and is bringing.  Here I am, single and getting ready to move out in a month.  WHAT?!  If I told myself that a year ago I would would have laughed and said, "You're crazy!" And perhaps there is some truth to that.

As I was writing this, I thought of how the Sailor Scouts handle the Unknown.  In the English dub, a phrase they constantly repeat when in battle against someone new is, "Guys, I don't like this."  Only seems natural that they hate going against something they aren't familiar with.  Isn't the same true for us?  When we come across something new or go through a major change our first thought is, "I don't like this." For example, going to Hume was one of the hardest changes I had to go through.  All I kept thinking was, "I don't like this, I want to go home where it's safe and comfortable."  But once I tackled it, I came to find that I liked the change.  I think in order to experience growth we need change and to have faith as we wonder into the Unknown (Random, but I keep thinking of the Pokemon "Unknown" now since I keep upper casing that word. I'm so weird).  Although the Unknown scares me, I know my Abba is leading me and he won't let me fall.

With all I am,

~Alyssa (SSD)